Volume 6, No 3 
Information Technology News of the University of California,
Davis November
1997
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Tech HumorJava is the Computer's Greatest Cross-marketing Effort Everby Len WhiteIs it just me or is there a regular frenzy of excitment about Java? It seems that everyone I meet wants to learn Java or at least own a book about learning Java. It's the hippest computer thing since the Timex Sinclair. What worries me, and should worry you gentle reader, is how easily we seem to be ignoring the fact that Java is a programming language, kinda like C++. There seems to be a sort of War-of-the-Worlds-like hysteria here: droves of otherwise rational people wanting to learn C++! The forces at work in this are shocking. Java is not the cross-platform, secure, network-based programming language we all thought it to be. Java is the computer industry's greatest cross-marketing effort ever. By "cross-marketing" I mean the process of linking one product or service with another in an entirely different area to generate more customers. A good example is the exclusive co-branding contract recently signed by Disney and McDonalds that allows us to get little plastic movie toys with the purchase of a Happy Meal. I loved Hercules...I need a Big Mac. Another more frightening example is the tiny face of Jim Carrey that recently appeared on thousands of apples in your grocery isle to harken the video release of "Liar, Liar." I love Carrey's crazy faces...I want some fruit. Similarly, is it merely chance that the Sun Microsystems brainchild bears the same name as the ultra hip way of saying 'coffee'? Our coffee culture has been growing exponentially over the last 5 years and the opportunities of saying "Hey, could I get a java over here?" without having several people look at you funny have been increasing proportionally. We are the lucky ones with spectator seats at the grand convergence of two elemental forces: coffee and object-oriented programming. It's quite clear that Java would not be the Java we know today without the cross-marketing partnership of caffeinated drinkables. Here's a mental exercise you can do to help realize what we've got here, a simple Gedanken experiment: Contemplate that before Java was named Java it was called Oak. Yes indeed, Oak: strong and true. Friend to squirrel and bird alike. Fine, but quite dull sounding. Consider some hypothetical scenarios that What is the truth about Java, then? What should we believe between our caffeine-induced twitches? We want to be poised and braced for the impact of new technologies. We want to ride the wave not be drowned. Java may well be the justified centerpiece of our attentions in the future. As of this writing, BrewSoft Technologies is beta-testing their new Latte Grande development system which may well change the face of network programming within a year. It represents a bold and daring move which may render Applets obsolete (that's okay, they always sounded like some Mac thing anyway). BrewSoft's new platform will supercede Java by providing continuous streaming runtime applications, called Biscotti, which integrate with resident Java programs. At a recent developers conference, a Lucent spokesperson was quoted as saying, "The tall and short of it is...Latte [Grande] is a long way from the shelves." This has not stopped Netscafe Communications Corporation from accelerating development efforts on their much anticipated Cafe Au Lait Visual Web Composer which promises to integrate Sun's new Steamer Protocol with Oracle's new Ethernet alternative: Flavor Syrup (TM). For all these future possibilities the amazing truth is this: Java, JavaBeans, the Roaster, Cafes and other wonders are here today. And at their very worst they're only making us drink a bit more coffee. Len White is a computer instructor with Information Technology. Len is also executive producer of Continuum, The Computer Technology Show, a new Public Access television program premiering Wednesday, Dec. 3rd, 8:30pm, on Woodland Public Access. |